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Just now on 3rd street we were eating ice cream cones and this guy starts sawing off a chain wrapped around a bike locked to a rack. So we stared at him. He worked for the city, driving one of those white electric trucks that say 'City of Santa Monica' on it. He sawed off the bike lock with and electric hand-held saw, threw the bike in the back of the electric truck and drove off.
We decided he was illegally stealing the bike under false pretenses of a city employee and needed to tell someone immediately. 'Catch the bad guys' as Derek insisted. But first we had to finish our ice cream cones. We stood there for 10 minutes. Then we walked up to a cop car and I asked the police officers if it was 'typical for an employee of the city to saw off a bike locked to a rack'. One cop said 'no, that's not typical, no.' The other cop said 'was he driving an electric truck? yeah, they'll do that sometimes, if it's abandoned.'
Then we walked up Wilshire and saw Robert DeNiro's siamese twin separated at birth. He was wearing an all valuer track suit and sunglasses. It almost just happened, so it was way too dark to need sunglasses. He also had too much chest hair to be wearing all those gold chains and no under shirt.